Don't Let Me Go
by EasonChow1216
Summary: Should he Just let him go? Makoto's feelings for Haruka grow deeper as he thinks about him, but when he finally attempts to let his feelings go, what would Haruka do? Are his feelings mutual? MakoHaru[A bit angsty, oneshot,] [Inspired by "Let Me Go" by Avril Lavigne]


Makoto had always knew that he loved Haruka, even though he didn't know how it started. His feelings for Haruka has grown stronger ever since Haruka thanked him for always being there for him that night before the regionals. These feelings were both comforting and painful at the same time. If he confessed, he might lose everything he had with Haruka. He might think of him differently, and Makoto doesn't want that. He just wanted to stay by Haruka's side. Even if his love isn't returned the same way.

However as his feelings got stronger, Makoto finds it hard to keep his feelings from overflowing. He wanted to tell Haruka how he truly feel about him, but another part of himself was scared that this would ruin the relationship between them. How come something so sweet, can be so painful at the same time?

_"Should I just let it go?"_ Makoto thought deeply, not realizing that Haruka was actually standing in front of him.

"Oi! Makoto!"

"Huh? Oh Haru! Sorry, I was just thinking of something." Makoto said as he smiled warmly.

Haruka stared at him with a hint of worry, something is wrong with Makoto, but he doesn't know what, so he decided to drop it.

* * *

Ever since that morning, Makoto hasn't been paying too much attention in class as he used to be. Haruka noticed that, he knows something is bothering Makoto. Haruka wished he could read Makoto's mind just as he could read his, then it would've made things easier. _"Did I do anything?"_ was all Haruka was thinking about. Makoto, on the other hand, was still thinking of how he would let his feelings go. He just couldn't risk losing Haruka because of a stupid confession. He didn't want Haruka to treat him differently because of that.

Then, it was lunch break. They all sat on the rooftop to have lunch as usual.

It was like any other day, Nagisa rambling about his random ideas while Rei was trying to explain how absurd those ideas are.

What Nagisa said next made Makoto uneasy.

"If you were going to date one of us, who would you choose?" Nagisa asked enthusiastically.

Makoto flinched. _"Nagisa, why do you have to make things so complicated?"_ He thought, but he couldn't blame him, he doesn't know anything about this. Makoto was feeling uneasy...  
What should he say? That he would want Haruka to be his boyfriend? That's no different from a confession! _"What should I do? I don't want to ruin my friendship with Haru because of this, I just want things to stay as they were. I don't want Haru to think differently of me." _Makoto was getting agitated.

"Mako-chan, what about you? Who would you pick to be your boyfriend?"

Makoto couldn't take it anymore and snapped "Whoever I go out with is none of your business!"

Everyone was shocked, who knew someone usually so nice and gentle can be this aggressive?  
Haruka was worried. Makoto rarely snaps, and when he does, it's usually something really serious.

"Mako-chan, I'm sorry." Nagisa apologized immediately.

Makoto instantly regretted his actions. Why is he so worked up on it?

"It's okay Nagisa. I'm sorry guys, just not feeling well today. I think I will just go home and rest for a bit" Makoto said as he turned away from them.

"Makoto, I will come with yo-"

"I'm fine, Haru. I'm just feeling a bit ill, that's all." Makoto said as he barely smiled before walking away.

"I hope Makoto-senpai is okay." Rei said in a worried tone.

"I'm so sorry, Mako-chan" Nagisa said.

Haruka was also worried. He hadn't seen Makoto snapped like that for a long time. He was hiding something from him, and Haruka hates that.

* * *

"I'm home" Makoto says as he walked in, but came no response.

There was a note left on the table.

"We went to Tottori to visit your father since he's working overtime tonight and won't be back until tomorrow. I've already left something for you in the fridge for tonight and tomorrow. Take care of youself.  
Love, Mom"

"So, I'm alone huh?" Makoto says as he finished reading the note before walking up to his room.

Since he had nothing else to do, he decided to read a book to put off Haruka from his mind. As he reached for that particular book he wanted to read on the bookshelf, he accidentally fell, bringing the books down along with him. When he got up from the pile of books, he noticed a particular book that caught his interest. It was a photo album.

And not just any photo album, it was the one he holds dearest to. It was a photo album of him and Haruka.

* * *

Haruka wasn't going to admit it, but he was seriously worried about Makoto. He had never seen him so troubled. And to be honest, whenever Makoto hides something from him, he felt betrayed, as if he doesn't trust him anymore. Aren't they supposed to be there for each other?

He decided to confront Makoto. He needs to know what is happening with Makoto, he couldn't bear seeing Makoto sad or troubled. It breaks his heart.

He even skipped swimming practice. Kou wasn't very pleased that 2 members of the swim club is not going to be practicing today, but was willing to let Haruka slide off just this once.

"Water is not important right now, what is important now is Makoto." Haruka thought as he ran over to Makoto's house.

* * *

Seeing all these childhood photos of Haruka and him made him realize how significant Haruka is to him. They swam together, ate together, slept together... they've done so many things together, has been part of each others lives for so long, and are always there for each other.

Makoto stared at the photos for quite a long time before he finally pour out all his emotions. His eyes filled with tears as it slowly dripped from his cheeks onto the photos. He was so indulged in his emotions that he didn't notice that someone has entered the house. It was Haruka.

Haruka heard cries from Makoto's room. He didn't went in, he wanted to see what is wrong. What made Makoto so broken. So he listened quietly outside his room, however it did not last long.

"Makoto" Haru said as he opened the door. Makoto was surprised that Haruka was here.

"Makoto, what happened?" Haruka asked as sat next to him.

"Nothing, Haru. Just feeling a bit ill." Makoto lied.

"You know Makoto? I hate it when you tried to hide something from me!" Haruka raised his voice.

"After all these years, I thought we were always there for each other, I-"

"I... loved you this whole time, I've tried to let go of my feelings, I don't want to lose you. I'm afraid that if I confessed, you might think differently of me, but I couldn't hold it any longer." Makoto finally confessed.

Haruka was at a loss for words. He doesn't know how to respond. That's when he saw the photo album that was laying beside Makoto. It was a bunch of photos of him and Makoto, doing different things together, from childhood up to now. Makoto had been a major part of his life. He had always been there for him. At that moment Haruka realized how important Makoto is to him, and that he had loved Makoto as much as Makoto had loved him.

"Idiot, I'll never think differently of you, no matter who or what you are."

"Because I love you too" Haruka said.

Makoto was shocked, did Haruka say he loved him too? Did he feel the same way as him?

"Haru, is that true?" Makoto asked.

"Yes" Haruka said as he wiped off the tears from Makoto's face.

"So, don't cry. I hate to see you crying." Haruka said as he smiled

When Haruka smiled, it made Makoto so happy. He doesn't usually smile for anybody.

"I'm so sorry Haru, I should have said something, I should hav-"

"Just promise me that you won't let me go again.." Haruka said as he hugged Makoto.

Now Makoto was at a loss for words... He never knew that Haruka loved him as much as he loved Haruka.

Makoto cupped Haruka's chin as he said "I promise I won't." before leaning closer.

Together, they shared their first kiss.

* * *

That night, they slept together, mumbling sweet nothings to each other.

"I love you Haru-chan" Makoto said

"Drop the -chan... and I love you too..." Haruka said before he fell asleep.

For the first time ever since this morning, Makoto smiled from the bottom of his heart.

"I'll never let you go, Haruka." Makoto whispered as he hugged Haruka before falling asleep also. 

* * *

Author's Notes: This is my first fanfic ever. My friends kept persuading me to put this up here. I was reluctant at first but succumb to them later on. Sorry for the grammatical mistakes and stuff. /w\


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